Accentuate the positive of where you are
Lee Suderman and Di Rempel Suderman think Bing Crosby was on to something when he sang one of his famous songs – “You’ve got to accentuate the positive; eliminate the negative; latch on to the affirmative; don’t mess with Mr. In-Between.” It’s the kind of philosophy the Sudermans apply to their everyday as they navigate life’s journey and the reality of changing care levels.
As Bluestem Communities independent living residents, the Sudermans planned that they would eventually live in all of the Bluestem Communities care levels on the Kidron Bethel Village campus – moving to assisted living and later health care as their health needs determined – but in 2022, the need for assisted living came unexpectedly and sooner than they had planned.
“One of the reasons we chose to live at Bluestem Communities in the first place is that it offered all of the levels of care we would eventually need, and having our name on the assisted living list meant we could make the transition rather quickly, even though it was unexpected,” said Lee.
The Sudermans acknowledge the shock and challenges that forced a move so unexpectedly, but as they have had time to adjust to the new realities of their physical and health-related capabilities, as well as to life in assisted living, they have made the choice to view each day with positivity and gratitude.
“No matter where you find yourself – in any level of care – there is always a positive to find,” said Di. “Right now, in assisted living, I try to remain as independent as possible, but because of the health challenges I have, it’s just the reality that I need to ask for help with some things. I could be down about the fact that I can’t do everything I once could, but I can still dress myself, and that’s a positive for me. It’s all about attitude and an acceptance of change.”
The Sudermans understand the hesitancies that can come for people who think about moving to a higher level of care, but they believe that attitude and acknowledgment of the changes is a strategy for acceptance.
“Yes, of course you lose some independence when you move to a higher care level, but you’re losing that independence regardless of if you are in your own home or a different care setting,” said Di. “That’s just a reality of aging. You have a choice to either celebrate or be fearful. I choose to be grateful for the people who are here to help me and make my life more comfortable than if I were trying to struggle through on my own.”
With regularly scheduled activities and friends and neighbors to visit with at meals, the highly social Sudermans have found that assisted living continues to fit well with the things they love.
“There are always opportunities for socialization when we need it,” Lee said. “When we were in independent living, we had to initiate gatherings like that on our own, but now, just going to a meal in the dining room is an opportunity to connect with other residents and staff. So many of the staff have become like second family to us!”
The Sudermans are also aware, though, that socializing and participating in activities are not everyone’s cup of tea, and assisted living serves them just as well.
“Some people choose not to do activities, and that’s okay, too,” said Di. “Each person is able to choose every day what they want to do. Some enjoy just staying in their own space, reading or working on hobbies. I don’t do all of the activities because I’m also focused on writing my vignettes about my travels. Having assistance for everyday tasks has really created the time for me to be able to do this – time that I didn’t have before coming here – and I’m grateful for that.”
The services and amenities Bluestem Communities offers, such as a wellness center, physical, occupational and speech therapy, and a restaurant under the same roof as their home, are other things the Sudermans particularly appreciate.
“I have always loved to entertain, but I don’t have the space to do that in our home anymore, nor would I be able to do all the preparation it entails,” said Di. “But the great thing is that we can still entertain friends in the restaurant just down the hall. It’s a beautiful location and delicious food, and I don’t have to clean or do any cooking.”
Even more than the amenities, however, they are grateful for the quality of care provided to them, pointing specifically to having access to medical professionals any time they have a concern, and for dietary managers who happily cater to their dietary restrictions.
“The fact of the matter is that we are both aging and dealing with everything that comes with that,” said Di. “It’s comforting to have a nurse available whenever we need one to help decide if an issue needs follow up with a doctor or a trip to the ER. Having experienced a medical emergency at home by ourselves, we know how scary that can be, so having someone who can help evaluate those things with us is really valuable.”
As they reflect on their life journey that has brought them to the present day, the Sudermans are able to find parallels in the present to other times they faced change. Before retirement, for example, they traveled to and lived in many places all around the world, always embracing each new adventure that lay before them.
“What, then, is so different in moving from one care level to another?” Di pondered. “We’re still the same people no matter where we live. We have all made many adjustments in our lives and we’ve come through them just fine. Moving through the care levels is just another adjustment. It’s just putting the accent on a different syllable, so you might as well accentuate the positive.”