Tending the heart: The inner work of aging

Living and Aging Well is a Bluestem Communities series intended to offer resources and information for residents and families navigating opportunities and the progression of care at Bluestem. The following information was taken from a November 2025 event prepared and presented by Jill Schmidt Weaver, Chaplain for Independent Living at Schowalter Villa, and Dawn Yoder Harms, Chaplain at Kidron Bethel Village.

Growing older means tending to a checklist of practical details, from downsizing a home to getting finances and legal matters in order. But beyond the paperwork and plans lies quieter, equally important work: how are we doing emotionally or spiritually, and how do we meet this season of life with openness rather than fear?

It’s not a secret that aging brings with it profound change. Some of it makes us laugh. Some of it brings tears. There are changes we have chosen, such as retirement or relocation, and others that arrive without invitation. 

Change can be disorienting, and even the welcome changes can leave us feeling unsettled. We may feel uncertain or afraid about where we are, where we are headed or how we’ll find our way forward. It is important to name this experience and to know that it is not unique to later life. Feeling lost in times of transition is part of being human and probably something most of us have encountered and navigated during other times in life.

In this space, there are navigational tools that can help us find our way. 

1. Honesty about what life is. Life is different now. Maybe only slightly or maybe drastically, but it is different and it can be helpful to name losses you’ve experienced in the midst of change.
2. Compassion for one’s self. It’s okay to admit that loss is painful and change can be difficult. Feeling sad or anxious isn’t bad, even when you may not understand the reasons behind the feelings. Give yourself permission and space to experience whatever feelings come.
3. Curiosity and willingness to listen deep within one’s self. With each change or feeling, consider what it is you might be invited to release. What remains steady within you even when everything around you seems to be changing? How are you being invited to grow during times of unknowing?
4. Connect with others who have passed this way before or who are on the same path right now. Human connection and sharing of experiences can be helpful in finding your way.
5. Trust yourself. Believe that you will make it through whatever is before you. You’ve successfully navigated difficult moments before, and you can do it again. Recall the things that were helpful to you in the past – spiritual practices, mindfulness or physical movement – and lean on those things again.

Aging invites us into both visible and invisible work. While we tend to the practical tasks that demand our attention, we are also called to care for our inner lives. This work does not ask us to have everything figured out, only to stay present to where we are and open to what is unfolding.