Coming to terms

by Dawn Yoder Harms, Kidron Bethel Village Chaplain 

I am currently savoring a book of poetry written by Kidron Bethel Village resident Emerson Wiens, entitled Coming to Terms. In his first poem, from which the collection derives its name, Wiens reflects on the process of aging, which involves coming to terms with failing body parts, retirement, changing purpose and relationships, and the inevitability of death. He also courageously names what he refuses to come to terms with. 

While this poem is unflinchingly honest, it is served up with a good dose of humor, infusing it with realism and hope. It may well become my guidebook as I begin coming to terms with my own process of aging. 

Fortunately, here at Kidron Bethel Village I am surrounded by many “teachers” who help me see the work before me as I grow older. As I listen and observe, I notice that aging is accompanied by significant challenges and painful losses. I also notice that with these challenges comes opportunity. Opportunity to try new things, to reflect on what matters most, to see ourselves in new and truer ways, to share wisdom drawn from the deep well of life experience, to care for each other, to notice where grace meets us along the way. 

The themes of “challenge” and “opportunity” are not unique to the last decades of our lives. But in this time and space, unique challenges do await us. We find ourselves needing to navigate a changing terrain of health, relationships, roles, purpose. 

This is deep spiritual work, work of the “head” and the “heart.” This time of life invites us to consider: What are we being invited to release? And what are we being invited to hold on to? When all else falls away, what still remains? 

These are some of the questions I have been pondering as I listen to residents’ lives with them, as I read insight from others who have already passed this way, and as I work to come to terms with my own ailing body parts and the inevitability of death. It is a holy conversation, waiting to be had in community. If you have interest in joining in this conversation, please be in touch with me. While there is much to learn, I also know that among us, there is deep wisdom to be shared. Wisdom about where we’re headed and how grace meets along the way. 

Note about Emerson: Emerson Wiens spent 35 years in higher education teaching, writing, and lecturing on the sociological impacts of technology use on society. At age 52, he enrolled in a creative writing workshop that inspired him to express his thoughts poetically. Throughout his life, he has enjoyed nature, gardening, sculpturing, cabinet making, fly fishing and writing.