Planning for the future: Building your support system

Living and Aging Well is a Bluestem Communities series intended to offer resources and information for residents and families navigating opportunities and the progression of care at Bluestem. The following information was taken from a March 2025 presentation. 

One of the reasons people choose Bluestem Communities is because of the continuum of care all within one campus. Living at a Bluestem Community means you can transition fairly seamlessly from independent living to assisted living to health care while maintaining a familiar setting, amenities and relationships – all of which can provide comfort and stability even when making a big change. 

Even though you have a benefit of smooth transitions, advanced planning in certain areas can ensure that a time of change is met with even less stress. At any stage, planning for the unknown and unexpected can be uncomfortable. It’s easy to put off this kind of planning or avoid it altogether because the potential situations being planned for may be difficult to face. However, facing these decisions without plans or tools in place can make them even harder. Planning ahead gives you the ability to make informed decisions and live with more confidence, dignity and peace of mind. 

Planning ahead isn’t just about you. It’s also about making things easier for your loved ones. It reduces stress and uncertainty when the unexpected happens. If your loved ones know what you want them to do and have the tools to do it, they will also have greater confidence and peace of mind in knowing they are helping you achieve your wishes and desires. 

BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM 

Planning ahead is not something you have to do alone. It can be a team effort that begins with identifying your support system. 

Your support system should consist of people you trust, who understand you and on whom you can rely in difficult times. This network could include family, friends, doctors, financial advisors, church members or community groups. Some people are surrounded by loved ones to help support them. Others have loved ones that live far away, and technology can help bridge that distance. In some cases, the best solution may be to hire professional support from a lawyer to carry out future wishes rather than asking family or friends to do it.

Some important roles in your support system are: 

• Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) for Health Care is a legally designated person you name to speak for you if you are unable to speak for yourself. The person has the authority to take action on your behalf without the delays of court proceedings. They direct the type of health care you want, including the power to consent, refuse consent or withdraw consent to any type of medical care, treatment, service or procedure. It is essential to designate alternates in case your primary person becomes unable to serve. 
• Durable Power of Attorney for Finance is a legally designated person you name to handle financial and legal matters if you are unable to do so. Having someone legally named to this role ensures your bills get paid, investments are managed and assets are protected. As before, be sure to designate alternates so there is a back-up in place. 

Though your support people may live anywhere, it’s helpful to identify at least one local person who can be present quickly in an emergency or to assist with smaller tasks. Also, make sure your support team is aware of one another. Share each person’s role and contact information with the rest of the group so if they need to work together, they know how to do that. 

CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE FUTURE

The way you can use your support system most effectively is to have honest and candid conversations with them, ensuring they know what matters to you and how you would like things to unfold if life gets more complicated. 

These can be difficult conversations to start, but they are incredibly important. They are also most effective discussions when life is calm, not in the midst of a health crisis. 

Some things to discuss: 

• Your preferences for health care decisions. 
• Your thoughts, wishes and concerns about the aging process. 
• What role you would like each person of your support system to play. 

Don’t make these conversations a one-time thing. As life flows on and different situations arise, keep talking so your support people can continue to learn about you and aware if your wishes evolve. Encourage your loved ones to ask you questions and to share their thoughts with you as well. 

One tool to make these conversations easier is to use a guide, one of which is The Conversation Project. The starter guides include self-reflection questions, tips for planning the conversation, step-by-step guidance, worksheets to keep notes and tips for next steps. You can access The Conversation Project tool at theconversationproject.org. 

Planning ahead for your future is not a one-time event, but a journey, and it’s one that you don’t have to travel alone. You’ve spent a lifetime building and nurturing relationships. Now is the time to be vulnerable with those important people in your life, allowing them to understand you even better and support you along the way.